Feeling Emotions

Only in the last few months have I learned about emotions. I mean, really learned about them. I knew the names of a few and what they looked like on a person's face. Honestly though, that was about the end of it. I mostly felt fear and anger, and then guilt for feeling those. I had no idea how to get my emotions out except maybe writing about them, but even that felt off, like I was wallowing in the negative ones and not getting it right.

I finally figured out through research that emotions are natural signs that help us stay in tune with our intuition. This is really important! Once one's intuition gets stifled, all sorts of havoc breaks out within the mind and body. It's like driving blind and it feels frightening.

I know now that when I feel an emotion tap on my shoulder, I need to take a moment to sit still with it, give it its proper name, and move into it more deeply. Sometimes that can feel like diving into a cold pool of water but that is better than trying to feel it piece by piece over a long period of time. By going in to it deeper and taking deep breaths the whole time, I've noticed I am less apprehensive each time that emotion comes up. When I feel like I've really let myself feel it, I then take some deep breathes and let it slowly dissipate, it's kind of a conscious thing, where I'm letting it go. Then I remind myself that it's just a feeling and they are never wrong. If it doesn't feel too forced, I'll even smile. Feeling emotions this way reminds me of meditation, sitting quietly and letting the emotion flow through without judgement.

I've noticed that it's much easier for me to feel all of my emotions now. They will come up more quickly, and easily. I used to pride myself on not being a crier. But we all know where pride gets us. Now I can cry easily and I know it's due to this practice of emotional letting. I'm happy that I can feel things again.

I've noticed too that I'm sometimes reluctant to feel pleasant emotions. I don't know why I would do this but I do know that I'm going to give them the same respect I've given to the emotions that stem from fear, like anger, or anxiety. Emotions that come from love may have been belittled by me as not dangerous, and therefore, not important. But they are important, and I want to allow myself the gentleness of feeling them. I have the right to feel good and so do you.

I'll let you know how my progress goes with that.

A few starting points:

Awareness App for the iPhone
http://ronitherzfeld.com/awareness-app/

Dr. Anita Johnston and Eating in the Light of the Moon
http://dranitajohnston.com/

Emotions - How to Understand, Identify, and Release Your Emotions
http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_emotions.html

I'm Back!

Since my last posts in (eek!) 2008 I've changed a lot. I've held on gently yet persistently to the idea that if I keep trying to take care of myself that I will overcome my mental problems. It's worked, I've had to make some fear filled decisions, such as taking a less stressful job where I don't have as much responsibility, going to a therapist, going to church (yes, church!), taking a yoga class twice a week, and going to meetings that help me with co-dependency. These changes do take a lot of courage, there is so much judgement about them, yet, they really do help by providing support and positivity. I find by going, I feel stronger and less concerned with what people who are hurting think of me. I've felt much less depressed and like I can find peace without having to be perfect.

I'll be writing more about the things I've learned, now that I have more time!

Ways to Slow Down

I try the following things when I notice I'm getting too wound up. I used to be very hard on myself and try for all ten each day. I now am happy if I get three done in a day. If you feel too rushed or hard on yourself, try:

1. Deep breathing for a few minutes each day
2. Exercising aerobically for thirty minutes a day
3. Taking a multi-vitamin
4. Relaxing my body section by section before bed
5. Consciously turning around some of my negative thoughts
6. Journaling out my emotions
7. Practicing being assertive
8. Avoiding sugar and simple carbs
9. Avoiding caffeine and alcohol
10.Making a spiritual schedule for the day (examples: time for meditation and fun)

Good luck and remember to take it easy!

Turning Point

If you are like me, you may feel like you have to be smarter, faster, thinner, richer, better looking, etc. Always better. If we can't meet these impossible standards, we get labeled as a failure. We can hardly make enough money, be good enough family members, or employees. There is an overload of data regarding how we should be.

I can't be perfect and I can't get what I want by sheer white knuckle determination. In fact I'm taking the opposite approach. I'm going to aim to have more fun and see what happens. I want to judge less. I want to care less. I don't want it to be "all up to me". I want to be okay with the idea of giving up.

Overdoing it in every aspect of my life has made me depressed. I've reached a turning point where my only goal is to learn how to go easy on myself and others. This blog will contain ideas for taking a gentle approach to life and having fun.

What is Relentment?

Re·lent /rɪˈlɛnt/
–verb (used without object)
1. to soften in feeling, temper, or determination; become more mild, compassionate, or forgiving.
2. to become less severe; slacken

Relentment
Re*lent"ment\ (-ment), n. The act or process of relenting; the state of having relented.